acting it out

the art of learning to live

Archive for the category “Uncategorized”

my “t”

you want me to tell them my t…?

I want so badly for the words I write here to be(come) true.
I want so badly for my writings to be
filled with hope.
filled with strength
filled with words of wisdom beyond my years.

But the truth is
I am doubtful
I am weak
I am lost

This is my t, my truth.
It is the first I’ve written here, but I promise, to myself, that it will not be the last.

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all bets are off…

Lap 1
I am racing.
I am racing towards a goal.
I did not set this goal for myself.
I am acting out of submission.

Lap 2
I am racing.
I am racing towards a goal.
I have performed this race before.
Sometime I win, sometimes I do not.

Lap 3
I am racing.
I am racing towards a goal.
I know if I win I will be rewarded.
I know if I win I will make them happy.

Do you know why they put “blinders” on race horses?

It is so the horse focuses on what’s ahead.
They can not look back at what has already been done.
They can not look to the side at where the other horses are.
They can not see the audience.
All they know is the path that is set before them, all they know to do is to run.

I want to be a race horse.
I want to stop looking behind me.
I want to stop looking at others around me.
I want to stop looking at the ones who cheer me on, or who hope for me to fail.
I want to look towards my future.
I want to run, with all my strength & hope, towards what lies ahead.

On second thought, I do not want these things.
I need these things.
I need them desperately.
For my sanity, for my heart, my soul, my peace of mind.
But most of all, I need these things for myself, for my goals, & for my prize.

I am a race horse.
& I am betting on myself to win.

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